I felt good about what I did.
Then I didn't.
Then I didn't care.
Then I was ashamed.
Now, I don't know what I feel.
I'm lost.
Without a relationship.
Without someone to guide me.
I'm so lost.
I've become co-dependant.
I've become someone I am not.
I've become half.
Half as good as I should be.
Without someone to guide me.
I am lost.
I'm clinging.
I'm clinging onto everyone who will let me.
I'm not doing it on my own.
Surviving.
Happyness.
I'm not doing it on my own.
I want to do it on my own.
I want to embrace what I've been through.
I want to grow.
I want to know how to grow.
I've lost people.
Man, I've lost a lot of people.
Most of whom, I won't have a second chance.
They're dead.
So many people died.
So many people died, and I'm worried about being co-dependant.
I'm fucked up.
I want to be fucked up.
My need for substance...
Is so much stronger than I thought it could be.
My need to not be myself.
I want to change.
Need to change.
Need to be someone else.
Somewhere else.
Something else.
I'm not comfortable.
Where I am.
Where am I?
I'm so lost.
I'm so fucked.
I smile a lot more than I did before.
But, I don't even know how much I mean it.
I'm a fake.
I'm a fake.
I don't know who I am.
I'm so fucked.
Goodnight.